Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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