I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
