This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you inspire me to be a worse person
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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