there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
