I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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