how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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