He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
