i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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