Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
