you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
