Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize