question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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