I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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