We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
