Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
