I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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