we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
