First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
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So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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