Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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