How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
