Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
