I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
