Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
