Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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