when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
