Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
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He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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