Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize