Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
