We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
