I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
