After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
