this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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