My nipple is on Facebook.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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