I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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