just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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