Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
