So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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