PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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