Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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