Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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