I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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