So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
