not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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