So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
