i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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