The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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