She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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