Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
