Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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