she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
