Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
