I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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