wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize