so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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