i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
