You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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