Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
