I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
