Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
