i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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