Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
