My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
