The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
