Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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