I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
