my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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