why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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