Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
