I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
