i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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